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after an admittedly all too long hiatus, i'm back. hi! in case you've forgotten i'm the one who used to occasionally comment on all of your lovely postings and disappeared to go be quiet and to myself. i'm over my introspective period. i'm feeling more spunky now, a little more outgoing. i'm not sure if i'm manic depressive or as a dear friend pointed out to me "just a human with realistic and valid needs and emotions" or something to that effect. did i mention i am graced to have met some of the best fucking people alive and roaming the planet? because it's true. i really have. and i've met alot of shit heads. like, alot of shitheads. so maybe that makes my appreciation of all the rad ones that much stronger. i guess that's how it works. hm.

i had such a rad rad trip to seattle last weekend. i missed that city. good friends are hard to find, but they all seemed to find me when i was there. kind of magical.

"Families visiting Disneyland on their holiday this week saw a life-size Guantanamo bay inmate standing inside the Rocky Mountain Railroad ride at Disneyland in Anaheim, California.

The sculpture, consisting of an inflatable doll dressed in an orange jumpsuit with its hands and feet manacled remained in place for one and a half hours before Disneyland's security staff shut down the ride and removed it amid fears over public safety."

The artist: Banksy

(from www.woostercollective.com)

thanks to joeball for alerting me.

here are the instructions as they were spelled out for me by paxgitmo:

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 123

3. Find the fifth sentence

4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.

5. Don’t you dare dig for that 'cool' or 'intellectual' book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

6. Tag whomever you want, or not.

"I break rule 2 and 4 sometimes and I've paid the price. Watch out for these dreaded cold & flu viruses. They can really ruin a tour and hurt your shows." -Making Stuff and Doing Things (exerpt from: 'tips for staying fit on the road')


i tag sonyagorgonzola, tomdog and ryerro. ready? go!

stop stealing my days.

that is all. carry on.

...or not to dubai.

i have an oppurtunity to visit some family in dubai. frankly, i'm a little freaked out by the prospect.

what do you know about dubai that will make me feel better?

no seriously, i'm starting a list.
first on the list of why i should feel good about going to dubai is this:

my family is in dubai (and no longer in beirut)

(sigh....)

here's a rough transcript. check my playlist for the audio...

ADAM CAROLLA: Ann Coulter, who was supposed to be on the show about an hour and a half ago, is now on the phone, as well. Ann?

ANN COULTER: Hello.

CAROLLA: Hi Ann. You’re late, babydoll.

COULTER: Uh, somebody gave me the wrong number.

CAROLLA: Mmm… how did you get the right number? Just dialed randomly — eventually got to our show? (Laughter in background)

COULTER: Um, no. My publicist e-mailed it to me, I guess, after checking with you.

CAROLLA: Ahh, I see.

COULTER: But I am really tight on time right now because I already had a —

CAROLLA: Alright, well, get lost.

[Crosstalk in the studio]

CAROLLA: I’m tight on time, too, and I don’t have time for bitches, so let’s move on.

[…]

[inaudible] Tight on time… Go f- yourself, you’re tight on time.

Female co-host (Teresa Strasser or Sarah Silverman?): I say this to Ann Coulter. Why the long face? (Laughter)

CAROLLA: Listen, you bitch, don’t call in an hour and a half late and tell me you’re “tight on time.” Of course you’re tight on time, you’re an hour and a half God-damn late calling into a radio show. Just take your crappy book and go pitch it to your stupid cable outlets.

Enron founder Ken Lay dead of heart attack
Wed Jul 5, 2006 11:30 AM EDT

HOUSTON (Reuters) - Enron Corp. founder and former Chief Executive Ken Lay, who was convicted in May for his role in the Houston-based company's downfall, died after suffering a heart attack on Wednesday at his vacation home in Colorado.

"Ken Lay passed away early this morning in Aspen," Lay family spokeswoman Kelly Kimberly statement said.

Lay, 64, was awaiting sentencing later this year and was expected to face a decade in prison for his convictions in the Enron collapse.

Lay and former Enron Chief Executive Jeffrey Skilling were convicted of fraud and conspiracy for hiding the financial ruin at Enron, which tumbled into bankruptcy in December 2001.

Lay, once a confidant of former President George H.W. Bush and dubbed "Kenny boy" by President George W. Bush, often appeared fatigued during the four-month trial, but there was no indication that he had suffered any adverse health effects.

Enron started as a quiet pipeline company and under Lay's guidance grew into an international energy powerhouse, but imploded in a wave of accounting scandals.

Pitkin County sheriff's deputies and an ambulance were dispatched to the Lay vacation home early Wednesday morning and transported him to Aspen Valley Hospital. He was pronounced dead there shortly after 3 a.m. local time.

"A coroner's autopsy is pending. There will be no further information or press release from this office, until autopsy results are available later this week," the county said in a statement.

(Additional reporting by Bruce Nichols and Jeff Franks) (thanks bryan...)

Our goal is to discover that we have always been where we ought to be. Unhappily we make the task exceedingly difficult for ourselves.

-Aldous Huxley

party is not a verb.

i sold my last car 3 years ago and vowed never to own a car again. i spent 3 years in a city walking, riding buses and biking my way to work and play. it's an amazing feeling to not have to worry about the huge piece of metal and composite plastic. i could go drinking and i was never too drunk to walk home from the bar. no insurance, no parking tickets, no parking at all, no car payments. it also, removed me from the bubbled convenience a vehicle had provided me with for so many years. it pushed me into the world i was afraid of. i had to plan things a little more. i had to give myself more time. i had to give myself more time.

i was forced to. i had to embrace it and become one with the cold, wet, rainy streets, with the wind, or the occasional muggy heat or snow. i had to be alone. i had to give myself more time.

and in 3 years i did more growing up than in the 25 that preceeded those. i made mistakes and hurt feelings and was hurt and i survived. i made friends out of potential enemies. i made potential enemies out of friends. i had lovers and sisters and brothers and we worked and played and danced and sang and ate and laughed and created and rummaged in the streets together. and sometimes it was hard. and we got by. and i spent a lot of time alone. i had to be alone. i had to be sad. i had to learn the power of that. i had to learn how to let go. i had to learn to love myself, even the parts about me that i didn't like.

and so i learned to love every hair on my body. i learned to love that i'm not as smart as i'd like to be. i learned to love that i'm just as smart as i am. and i learned to love my friends for just who they are as well. and for who they will become.

there is a woman in my life who is so dear to me and i hope that when she reads this she is reminded of how much i love her. i hope she is reminded of her potential. and her worth. mostly i want her to know that life is hard, (which of couse, she knows) but things worth doing are rarely easy. we are strongest when we realize the only thing we have control of is ourselves, our feelings, our choices. we've got to own it. we are the ones in charge of our lives. we have to live up to our own standards and no one else's. it's hard enough just being good enough for ourselves. 

our past doesn't have to dictate our future. those legacies can stop whenever you make them.

go out and live! carve your own path. it's scary, but realize that undoubtably things will work out. they always do. everytime. the outcome may not be the one we wanted or the one we expected, but it's the best one because it's the one we've got. it'll work out. it always does. everytime, remember?

i realize now that i've veered drastically off topic of "car", but in sticking with what seems to be the larger topic of "love what you are, what you've created and what you will become" i've chosen to not edit my opening paragraphs. and by the way, i've been looking to buy a car again. i've gone back on my old vow, but it must be my time. it just must be.

oh and i'm thinking of a line out of "desiderata" by max ehrmann

"you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars: you have a right to be here. and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

lulu, give yourself more time. it's yours. take it. make out of it whatever you want. it's yours. own it.
and like stevie and just about every kid i ever met on "dead lot" or at a rainbow gathering has said, "love yourself" dude.

-for lulu
ps. i'm coming over to your house and i'm gonna give you a big hug. brace yourself.

i got a mixtape from a friend before i moved  back down to cali from seattle. the first track is a woman reciting this poem from carol batton. it touches a really quiet part of me.
 
Listen you Dandelions!
Don't try to be daisies. Don't try to be tall like the trees.
Did some of you try to be pink? Be content - be yellow.
It is not failure if you are not pink Dandelion.
Be the flowers you were meant to be...
but learn from others,
learn from the thin grass
and recover from life's blows,
even from trampling boots,
all is not lost if you remember
you have roots.

Live each summer for itself.
Let it be a beautiful summer that lasts
right up to the second frost.
And in winter go underground and grow;
don't just wait.
You don't have to sing
at the very first day of sun,
but by autumn try to have flowered
at least once.

Wait for the friendly little flies.
Take your turn for the sun to find your spot.
Some colours are unlikely,
others impossible, (probably.)
Much can be achieved in
a short flowering season for which
we have waited all winter.
At any time there may appear opportunities.
Take credit for having flowered when you could.
(Remember some other year)
and add it to your contentment.

It isn't always as easy to be a flower
as the Trees think it is.
Life is a lot of waiting;
things happen slowly.
We do it for the seeds,
we all know that.
No two flowers are ever the same.
Every Dandelion matters! Trust all.
Recognise that we are all flowers, together,
even the Trees are 'sort of flowers'.

Talk flowers, try to talk.
Stop looking at each other askance.
We are all insecure.
Speak to each other.
Communicate your plight.
Share your doubts.
Talk and tell of truth;
It will fill all that waiting,
with meaning.

Go out, right now, and plant yourself in the middle of that which you love the most- the thing within you that is most alive.  Now listen carefully , because as that love cracks your heart open, it will tell you exactly what the broken world needs from you.  This is your work, and it cannot wait.  ~Yaci Lachman